Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Musings of the Teenage Mind

(I wrote this post two weeks ago, but forgot to publish)

My daughter came to my room just a few minutes ago. We just had dinner and she was going to start writing her article for her school paper, of which she is the sports writer.

She plopped herself on my bed, and goes, "Ma, I have kwento for you. I forgot to tell you earlier...

I interrupted her, "Wait! Is this good news or bad news?

She thought about it, "Uhmm, it's just kwento, but it's kilig.

Uuyyy! Now she has my attention! 

I sat upright, "ok, go tell me about it!

But she hesitated, "ah I'll kwento later na, mga 10pm when I'm done studying para full effect." 


. . . . 

Earlier tonight, when she came home from swim training, she came into the kitchen and kept me company. 

I was inside the pantry, and she asked me from the outside, "Ma, how is it that when someone does very well in math and science, but not so good in writing they are still considered smart. But when a student is really creative and artistic or good at English or literature but not so good in math, they are just considered an average student?

She has a point.

She continues with sarcasm, "Take Einstein for instance, he's super smart, you'd think he'd know how to use a comb. But he doesn't even know how to comb his own hair..." Uhmmm... I don't know how to answer that, pero may point ka dyan, anak! Hahaha!

My daughter is very smart, but her intelligence lies in areas other than math and science. She's a very creative person who is good at expressing herself artistically. She's also a very good writer, and writes for her school newspaper. She's also very good in handling people, showing emotional and social maturity beyond her years.

Because I'm one proud mama, let me insert some of her artworks done during summer 2016:

I don't know why I always requests for koi paintings. 
I think she has done a total of 3 already for me. Two acrylics and this one in watercolor. 

I requested her to paint a portrait of me also. 
I said since I'm the one paying anyway, I should get something out of it. :)

 portrait of a boy in pink

the lady in blue
Painting side by side with one of her good friends

Anyway, back to the topic.

It's not that she does so poorly in math and science, She still gives in a good grade. She's an above average student. It's just that she gets frustrated at the amount of effort she has to put in to get the minimum grade requirement for academic merit.

We had a long discussion about it, and I fully agree with her that this math-centric and science-centric view of intelligence is biased and exclusionary. I reassured her that all strengths are equal. And I explained the concept of multiple intelligence to her. 

In reality, the world we live in is relationship driven. Even Google agrees and New York Times has written about the importance of being "socially sensitive" here.

Sure, it's important to be smart, but when it comes to choosing between two people for a promotion. Is the boss going to choose someone super smart but cannot function well in a group setting; thus can't get the full cooperation of the group. Or is management going for someone that's quite smart (but not as smart) but has great people skills and can effectively and collectively inspire her unit?

And even in terms of being in business. Businesses vie for customers with cut-throat competition, but when products are almost similar, it's going to come down to who does the customer like more?

I told her that the best student now doesn't necessarily become the most successful. I told her to just focus on her strengths, believe in herself and always pray before making any decisions. And for good measure, the timing is just so perfect kase, I added na din, "and obey your parents."

. . . . 

10 pm comes.

Shempre naningil ako ng chika.

She told me her kwento; and she's right, her kwento made me happy FOR HER!!!

Anyway, the whole point of this post is really to just put it into writing how I'm just so very thankful that my 16-year old shares her life with me. We talk about her day in school, her thoughts, her fears, her frustrations (sometimes at me), her goals (both for the immediate and far away future), her shopping wishlists, her relationship goals, her friends.

BUT we don't talk about politics, because we don't share the same views. haha!

I mean I wouldn't know otherwise if she chose not to give me the details of what's happening to her, but she shares her life so generously to me. I'm just so overwhelmed with gratefulness and appreciation at the kind of person she is turning out.