Advice To My Teen Daughters On Finding Their Personal Style

My daughters used to go to me every Sunday to ask my help on what to wear, but they hardly do that anymore. Not that often anyway. They have somehow developed their own sense of style, and are now confident in the sartorial choices they make.

As a mom, I want to teach my girls that style is not just about nice clothes, but ultimately it is a balance about feeling and looking good. About being confident and comfortable in who they are and what they are wearing.

There are a LOT of times where we step out in color coordinated outfits, UNPLANNED. 

This is one of them where we are all wearing navy and Breton stripes.

How do I help my teen girls find their own sense of style?

1. Let them be true to themselves.

Personally, I think the single most important thing my teens need when discovering their own sense of style is how to be true to themselves. Personal style is really all about how their clothes reflect and celebrate their individuality and personality.

My oldest daughter is slowly developing a style all her own. She leans towards clean lines and androgynous fashion with a minimalist style. My youngest daughter on the other hand is more simple in her choices. She prioritizes comfort, which I think is the best style statement of all.  

2. Play up their strengths.

For the longest time, my oldest daughter was complaining about her athletic legs. I seriously love her toned legs, but it's something that really bothers her upto this day.

But she has visible collarbones developed from years of competitive swimming training, so I suggested that she play that up instead. I suggested that she go for tops with halter neckline to show her much coveted collarbones. Wearing clothes that play up her best assets will help her be more confident in what she's wearing

3. Quality over Quantity: Teach them that style doesn't equate to a big closet 

Whenever I take my girls clothes-shopping, I try to help them choose clothes that they can mix and match to create different looks. I also encourage them to get neutral colors that go with anything, and to invest in key pieces to build their closet. This way, as they grow older, they will learn to carefully curate their closet to contain pieces that will stand the test of time.

While we don't buy super expensive designer clothes, we make sure to purchase quality clothing - classic well-made pieces with better fabrics, cleaner cut and finer construction. By spending a little more on quality pieces that never go out of style, we can create a solid base wardrobe that we can wear for years to come. Then, we just add a few trendy pieces to update.

Sometimes it seems that my two teens and I have a rotating closet. As much as they borrow from me, I sometimes borrow clothes from them, too. And honestly, three closets are always better than one.

4. Mom Knows Best   

I am far from being a fashionista, but I do have my own sense of style which influences and helps define my daughters style. 

Usually for Sunday mornings, everyone is in a rush to get to church on time. We just see each other on our way to the car. A few months ago, my oldest daughter and I laughed when we saw each other wearing similar outfits. My daughter goes," OMG! I'm turning into you!"

My devotion to buying simple, classic, well-made pieces has allowed me to keep my clothes in storage until they come back, one or even two decades later. And my daughters are now the grateful recipients. They love raiding my closet from time to time. I share more photos of clothes that my daughter wore from my closet in this post.

One of her recent discoveries from my "vintage collection" is the skirt she's seen wearing below.

I remember buying that skirt in Australia when I was in my early twenties. Doesn't look like it's over 20 years old di ba? But it is! I used to wear this to the office when I was a banker in the 90's.

This vintage Levi's 501 button-fly denim another find from my closet since boyfriend jeans are back in the trend again. I think I was about the same age as my daughter when I wore this pair.

I remember buying this at a vintage shop along Melrose Avenue in LA. I wore this throughout my college years. There's a lot of history in this particular pair.

When people find out that my daughters wear my clothes from years ago, they often wonder how I am able to preserve the quality of the clothes. One of the ways that helped keep my clothes wearable this long is by using Downy Fabric Conditioner during laundry.

You can make your clothes lasts longer and protect them from stretching and fading by simply adding a capful of Downy Fabric conditioner to the laundry process 

Downy provides amazing softness, long-lasting scent, and protection so I can see, smell and feel the difference on my clothes. Downy Fabric Softener smoothens and strengthens fibers to protect clothes from the damage of the wash, helping them maintain their shape. By smoothing fibers, Downy reduces the friction between them that causes them to break and leads to pills and fuzz. And when fibers break, colors appear duller, so using Downy also helps keep your clothes from fading

5. Don’t Forget The Whole Package.

Even if my husband and I give our teens much freedom to express themselves through fashion, we still want our girls to love and respect their bodies by choosing clothes that are stylish and modest, and yes, I think those two can go hand in hand.

We frequently remind them it is also essential to nurture the character of their hearts.  It is equally important to work on becoming beautiful on the inside - because this is the kind of beauty that lasts forever.

{1 Peter 3:3-4}

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

{Proverbs 31:30}

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

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